I Have Better Friends Than You

I came home from work tonight to find this in my IM window on AIM.

reggae grace: All of the following words that are bolded are meant to be read as internal dialogue. All of the following words that are italicized are meant to be read as actions. The following is the life of Grace Catherine Christman-unedited, unglamorous, and mostly non-sober at the moment.
reggae grace: I think I'll call Ray and leave him a message, but I don't leave good voicemails, hmm.. let's leave him an AIM message, shall we? Let's. She opens the AOL Instant Messenger program from the middle of her dock. Pauses to see what video game the boys are currently screaming about. Ugh.. Mortal Kombat, dummmmmmbb. Whatever.
reggaegrace: Ring.. Ring.. Ring.. Ring.. Ring.. Ring..
reggae grace: VOICE MESSAGE SYSTEM:"Umm. This is Ray, I can't get to my phone right now so, leave a message and I'll call you back. Thanks. BEEP."
reggae grace: GRACE: "Hey, this is Grace. What's up? Yeah, not too much here either. I'm drinking a bit. It is super pretty and girly, I also have it in a pink cup with an orange slice around the pink flexie straw. As Paul would say to annoy me, 'Wow, that's suppper gay.' Gah, he is so stewwww-pod."
reggae grace: She take a sip. Rolls her eyes as the boys.. still entirely enthralled in to game at hand. They remake drinks. She pauses to think, not much happening up there. Oh well.
reggae grace: GRACE: Later, gator.
reggae grace: Hope you enjoyed my short screenplay of my actions. Thought it was necessary partially into a first very stiff drink.

My long-distance drunk friends are better than your's. End of story.

P.S. Someday I shall have original material up here. Also, I shall sleep. But not today. PRIORITITES, PEOPLE.