Thursday, September 27, 2007
Facebook'd - September 27, 2007
Color-printed clips portfolio--$5
Dress sandals--$25
Cute and snazzy little business suit and pearls--$45
Large iced coffee chugged while hauling ass uphill--$3
Showing up to your job interview a month early--priceless.
Christina Allen...staying true to form.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.
from The Book of Mozilla, 7:15
Weird, eh? For those of you using Firefox (and that should be all of you), check out about:Mozilla and be weirded the fuck out.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Kollege
So at some point I'm going to post the actual notes I took my first day of class so you can see I'm really like this in real life.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Thank You, Brothers Chaps
I've just realized why Elise and I didn't work out:
She was a Limozeen girl, but I'm a Sloshy boy.
Now, we can all pretend it's as simple (and as lame) as that.
She was a Limozeen girl, but I'm a Sloshy boy.
Now, we can all pretend it's as simple (and as lame) as that.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
All You Ever Need To Know About Ray's Summer
Revelation1X5: drooooooooool...
StoogeontheLoose: did you ever see the giant wooden spoon?
Revelation1X5: ... i dont believe so...
StoogeontheLoose: well, it's a giant...wooden...spoon.
StoogeontheLoose: i'm running around, blasting my stereo
StoogeontheLoose: using it as an air guitar
StoogeontheLoose: sadly, i've done this a lot this summer
That is why school starting in a week is a good thing.
StoogeontheLoose: did you ever see the giant wooden spoon?
Revelation1X5: ... i dont believe so...
StoogeontheLoose: well, it's a giant...wooden...spoon.
StoogeontheLoose: i'm running around, blasting my stereo
StoogeontheLoose: using it as an air guitar
StoogeontheLoose: sadly, i've done this a lot this summer
That is why school starting in a week is a good thing.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
It's [insert time here] and Michigan still sucks.
As those of you who follow sports may be aware, the University of Michigan's football team (a detested rival of my favorite Ohio State Buckeyes) is about to fall to Oregon, the score currently 39-7. This comes one week after they fell at home to Appalachian State. While today's game is a historic upset in the way App State was, it still drops the Wolverines to 0-2 for the season. This is probably more cause for celebration here in Columbus than Ohio State's two ho-hum victories over Youngstown State and Akron.
That being said, Matt Caracciolo and I have figured out what happened to Michigan's team. It lies in a mundane kids movie starring the greatest basketball player who ever lived: Space Jam, featuring Michael Jordan.
For those unfamiliar with the plot (which I assume is all of you), Mr. Swackhammer (voiced by Danny DeVito) is the owner of Moron Mountain (not to be confused with Ann Arbor), a failing amusement park on another planet. He decides that in order to save the park, he'll capture the Looney Toons and enslave them on his planet (eerily similar to Manny Fernandez's plan for the former Wyandot Lake).
The Looney Toons, when combated by Swackhammers Nerdlucks (shown here), offer up a basketball game for their souls...er...services. Whatever.
The Nerdulucks, who as you can see are not all that big (smaller, in fact, than Mr. DeVito), steal the abilities of some of the NBA's all-time greats, including Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson, and...er...Mugsey Bogues. Yeah.
Anyway, the rest of the plot doesn't matter, really, because I've gotten to the part of it I need: those talent-stealing nerdlucks.
I've theorized that somehow, a few of them managed to get into Michigan's locker room before the Appalachian State game. It's the only way to explain how Chad Henne has magically turned into the new Steve Bellasari. Worse, even.
Jim Tressel is unavailable for comment.
That being said, Matt Caracciolo and I have figured out what happened to Michigan's team. It lies in a mundane kids movie starring the greatest basketball player who ever lived: Space Jam, featuring Michael Jordan.
For those unfamiliar with the plot (which I assume is all of you), Mr. Swackhammer (voiced by Danny DeVito) is the owner of Moron Mountain (not to be confused with Ann Arbor), a failing amusement park on another planet. He decides that in order to save the park, he'll capture the Looney Toons and enslave them on his planet (eerily similar to Manny Fernandez's plan for the former Wyandot Lake).
The Looney Toons, when combated by Swackhammers Nerdlucks (shown here), offer up a basketball game for their souls...er...services. Whatever.
The Nerdulucks, who as you can see are not all that big (smaller, in fact, than Mr. DeVito), steal the abilities of some of the NBA's all-time greats, including Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson, and...er...Mugsey Bogues. Yeah.
Anyway, the rest of the plot doesn't matter, really, because I've gotten to the part of it I need: those talent-stealing nerdlucks.
I've theorized that somehow, a few of them managed to get into Michigan's locker room before the Appalachian State game. It's the only way to explain how Chad Henne has magically turned into the new Steve Bellasari. Worse, even.
Jim Tressel is unavailable for comment.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
You know you wanna play it.
Jeff Hughes, Matt Caracciolo, and Hanna Goetz star in the biggest game to date:
Pelt Ray's Friends on the Beach ROFLMAO
Pelt Ray's Friends on the Beach ROFLMAO
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Not Related to Second-Grade Calvin
The Unofficially Official Rules of Calvinball
1.1. All players must wear a Calvinball mask (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.1). No one questions the masks.
*IMPORTANT -- The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or deleted by any player(s) involved.
1.2 Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game. The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.
1.3. A player may use the Calvinball (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.2)in any way the player see fits, whether it be to incur injury upon other players or to gain benefits for himself.
1.4. Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any degradation the rulee wishes to execute upon the other player.
1.5 The Calvinball Field (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.3) should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule already made. Or a pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.)
1.6 Flags (Calvinball Equipment 2.3) shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag.
1.7 Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur.
1.8 Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Pelvic Fracture'.)
1.9 Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice.
Calvinball Equipment
2.1. Mask - All participants are required to wear a mask.
2.2. Calvinball - A Calvinball may be a soccerball, volleyball, or any other reasonable ball.
2.3 Calvinball Field - The Calvinball Field should be any well-sized field, preferably with trees, rocks, grass, creeks, and other natural obstacles.
2.4 Miscellaneous - Other optional equipment include flags, wickets (especially of the time-fracture variety), and anything else the players wish to include.
People...I'm set on getting a game of this going. We need a place (I've got a few in mind), and people...come on. Running around, shouting, insulting, random rule-making, impromptu song...what more do you want?
1.1. All players must wear a Calvinball mask (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.1). No one questions the masks.
*IMPORTANT -- The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or deleted by any player(s) involved.
1.2 Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game. The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.
1.3. A player may use the Calvinball (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.2)in any way the player see fits, whether it be to incur injury upon other players or to gain benefits for himself.
1.4. Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any degradation the rulee wishes to execute upon the other player.
1.5 The Calvinball Field (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.3) should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule already made. Or a pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.)
1.6 Flags (Calvinball Equipment 2.3) shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag.
1.7 Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur.
1.8 Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Pelvic Fracture'.)
1.9 Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice.
Calvinball Equipment
2.1. Mask - All participants are required to wear a mask.
2.2. Calvinball - A Calvinball may be a soccerball, volleyball, or any other reasonable ball.
2.3 Calvinball Field - The Calvinball Field should be any well-sized field, preferably with trees, rocks, grass, creeks, and other natural obstacles.
2.4 Miscellaneous - Other optional equipment include flags, wickets (especially of the time-fracture variety), and anything else the players wish to include.
People...I'm set on getting a game of this going. We need a place (I've got a few in mind), and people...come on. Running around, shouting, insulting, random rule-making, impromptu song...what more do you want?
Monday, September 3, 2007
A True Story!
Remember that kid in second grade, Calvin?
Remember how he always had to answer before you in class? How he always teamed up with your friend Josh before you could get to Josh?
Remember when he was on the same soccer team as you? He never passed you the ball. Not when he was dogged by five other 7-year-olds. Not when you were three feet away. NOT EVEN WHEN YOU WERE WIDE OPEN AND PRETTY MUCH STANDING IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING GOAL.
Remember the dinosaur diorama? All he had to do was make a brontosaurus and a pachycephalosaurus (still my favorite dinosaur...so I had to wiki the spelling I can still pronounce it with each...Packeesefaluhsaurus!) and he couldn't freaking do it. Freeloading bastard.
Fine. You probably got along with people in second grade. I wrote stories about the sun sinking and killing people. And Barry Sanders.
I was weird.
Remember how he always had to answer before you in class? How he always teamed up with your friend Josh before you could get to Josh?
Remember when he was on the same soccer team as you? He never passed you the ball. Not when he was dogged by five other 7-year-olds. Not when you were three feet away. NOT EVEN WHEN YOU WERE WIDE OPEN AND PRETTY MUCH STANDING IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING GOAL.
Remember the dinosaur diorama? All he had to do was make a brontosaurus and a pachycephalosaurus (still my favorite dinosaur...so I had to wiki the spelling I can still pronounce it with each...Packeesefaluhsaurus!) and he couldn't freaking do it. Freeloading bastard.
Fine. You probably got along with people in second grade. I wrote stories about the sun sinking and killing people. And Barry Sanders.
I was weird.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
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