I will be spending the Christmas holiday in Poland in a tiny village that has one church with no bell because angry Germans stole it. Aside from vodka, there is not a lot for me to do.
Normally, that might signal the start of a string of highly depressing and ironically amusing blog entires. Instead, we get perhaps the greatest item ever sold on eBay:
Drive Someone Insane with Postcards
Through the power of eBay, the interwebs, and international postage, you can creep a friend or family member right the fuck out with the highest bid.
During the course of my holiday I will send three postcards to one person of your choosing.
These postcards will be rant-ravingly insane, yet they will be peppered with unmistakable personal details about the addressee. Details you will provide me.
The postcards will not be coherently signed, leaving your mark confused, guessing wildly, crying out in anguish.
"How do I know this person? And how does he know I had a ferret named Goliath?"
Your beloved friend or relative will try in vain to figure out who it is. Best of all, it can't possibly be you because you'll have the perfect alibi: you're not in Poland. You're home, wherever that is, doing whatever it is you do when not driving your friends loopy with international prankery.
Did I mention he mails them on two beautifully random postcards that have nothing to do with anything?
To add to the sheer confusion and genuine discomfort, one missive will be on an original promotional postcard announcing the 1995 television premiere of Central Park West on CBS.
Another will be a postcard celebrating Atlanta's disastrous hosting of the 1996 summer Olympic games.
The guy's almost too funny to be American. But it's New York, so he's just...creepy as fuck.
And totally awesome.
Anyone wanna lend me $250?
No comments:
Post a Comment