Zachary "Zack" Morris is a fictional character from the sitcoms Good Morning, Miss Bliss, Saved by the Bell, and Saved by the Bell: The College Years. He is portrayed by Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
And there it begins. Random fumbling around on the internet led me to...the Wikipedia article on Zack Morris. Saved By the Bell Zack. And I'm flat out scared by the level of seriousness that the article receives:
Zack displayed a natural tendency to resist peer pressure, turning down a joint from high-profile movie star Johnny Dakota at a Hollywood party. However, Zack (along with Lisa and Slater) did drink beer at a Toga party during senior year, and while driving home after the party, Zack crashed Lisa's mother's car. This traumatic event shook the gang into straight-edged abstinence, and apart from this incident there are no other recorded events of Zack abusing his body in any way.
Rod Parsley would be proud.
Another highlight is Zack's "numerous flames", a partial list that reveals how frighteningly likely the spread of STD's at Bayside High could have been; nineteen girls make the high school list, including the infamous Kelly Kapowski. Hell, Screech's cousin is described as "sexy, albeit adopted."
He did have some minor character flaws, it seems. In addition to the aforementioned beer incident, he also was involved in proposition betting and breaking the fourth wall.
For shame!
24 comments:
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